There are so many ways to experience attraction. And for some people, sexual attraction isn’t part of the story — and that’s totally valid.

In a world that often assumes everyone feels sexual desire, asexuality can feel invisible, confusing, or misunderstood.

But spoiler alert: for asexual people, it’s very clear. It’s just a different way of experiencing attraction — one that’s rich, real, and diverse.

We’re here to explain asexuality and related identities, with simple words and lots of respect.

What is asexuality?

Asexuality means experiencing little to no sexual attraction to others. It’s not about whether someone has had sex or not — it’s about whether they feel sexual desire.

It’s important to understand: asexuality is an orientation, not a choice or a medical condition.

People who are asexual may still desire romantic relationships, intimacy, and connection. Sexual attraction and romantic attraction are not the same thing.

The asexual spectrum

Asexuality isn’t one-size-fits-all. Here are some terms you might hear:

• Asexual (ace): little or no sexual attraction to anyone.
• Greysexual: somewhere between sexual and asexual; occasional or limited sexual attraction.
• Demisexual: sexual attraction only after a strong emotional bond forms.
• Aromantic: little or no romantic attraction (can be combined with asexuality or not).
• Allosexual: people who experience sexual attraction (the opposite of asexual).

Asexuality ≠ celibacy or abstinence

Being asexual doesn’t mean someone chooses not to have sex. Some asexual people have sex for many reasons — emotional intimacy, relationships, personal pleasure, or other reasons.

Others may choose not to, and that’s also completely valid.

Busting some myths about asexuality

• “Asexual people just haven’t met the right person yet.”
  No. Asexuality is a valid orientation, not a temporary phase.
• “Asexual people don’t want relationships or intimacy.”
  Not true. Many asexual people want loving, deep relationships — just without sexual desire.
• “Asexuality is the same as celibacy or abstinence.”
  Celibacy is a choice; asexuality is an orientation.
• “Asexual people are just ‘broken’ or ‘frigid’.”
  Harmful stereotypes rooted in misunderstanding. Asexuality is a natural variation in human experience.

What if I’m not sure?

It’s okay to explore and question. You can:

• Reflect on how you experience attraction
• Try different labels to see what fits
• Change or keep labels as you grow
• Not have all the answers right now

Your identity is yours — it can evolve and be fluid.

How to support asexual people?

• Respect their orientation without questioning it
• Don’t assume someone’s sexual desire based on their relationship status
• Avoid pressuring someone to “just try sex” or “find the right person”
• Don’t equate asexuality with a lack of affection or love
• Listen, learn, and respect people’s self-descriptions

In summary

Asexuality is a valid, rich, and diverse way of experiencing attraction — or not feeling sexual attraction at all.

It’s not about being broken or missing something, but about feeling desire differently.

Whether you’re ace, grey, demi, or just exploring, your experience is real and worthy.

Being asexual is just another way to be human — to connect, love, and live your truth.

Where to learn more

• AVEN (Asexuality Visibility and Education Network): a major resource in English
• @acearo.fr — for asexual and aromantic communities (French)
• Books:
  • The Invisible Orientation by Julie Sondra Decker
  • Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex by Angela Chen