There are a thousand and one ways to love. A thousand shades of attraction. And a thousand ways to live, name, and embody them.

In a world that loves neat little boxes, it can sometimes feel blurry, confusing, or misunderstood.

But spoiler alert: it’s not blurry for the people who live it. It’s just richer and more fluid than many think.

We’re here to explain bisexuality, pansexuality, and other orientations that don’t fit the straight box — with simple words and lots of respect.

What is a sexual orientation?

It’s what defines the genders you feel attracted to, sexually and/or romantically.

It’s not necessarily linked to your experiences or partners. It’s attraction: what you feel, what draws you, what you might desire.

You can be gay and never have dated a boy.

You can be bi and have had only one straight relationship.

Your orientation belongs to you.

Bisexuality & Pansexuality: what’s the difference?

Bisexuality: loving multiple genders (not just two)
Bisexuality means being attracted to more than one gender.
Contrary to what many think, it doesn’t necessarily mean “men and women” — it can also include non-binary people.
“Bi” means multiple, not just two.
Definitions may vary from person to person, and that’s okay. What matters is respecting how everyone defines themselves.

Pansexuality: loving regardless of gender
Pansexuality means being attracted to a person regardless of their gender.
Some pan people say gender is not a factor in their attraction — hence the “pan” (meaning “all”).
“I fall in love with people, not their gender.”

So… is it the same or not?

They can overlap, but the nuances are important for those concerned.
A bi person may feel different attractions depending on gender.
A pan person may not feel any difference at all.
These aren’t competing labels; they’re tools for personal expression. Everyone chooses the word that fits them best.

And what about the other terms?

The richness of sexual identities goes beyond this:

• Polysexual: attracted to several genders, but not all.
• Omnisexual: attracted to all genders, but gender matters in attraction (unlike pansexuality where it doesn’t).
• Asexual (ace): feels little or no sexual attraction.
• Greysexual: between asexual and allosexual; rare or conditional sexual attraction.
• Demisexual: sexual attraction only if a strong emotional bond exists.
• Skoliosexual: attracted specifically to non-binary and gender non-conforming people.
• Allosexual: a person who experiences sexual attraction (opposite of asexual).

Mini FAQ — Busting some common myths

• “Being bi or pan is just a phase before being gay, right?”
  No. It’s a valid, stable, and complete orientation on its own.
• “Bi and pan people are attracted to everyone?”
  No. Being attracted to multiple genders doesn’t mean attraction to everyone, all the time — just like anyone else.
• “Bi and pan people are more likely to cheat.”
  Biphobic and panphobic stereotype. Orientation doesn’t determine fidelity. Fidelity depends on commitment, not how many genders you might love.
• “It’s confusing, they don’t know what they want.”
  Actually, yes they do. What’s confusing is our society’s difficulty accepting that attraction can be fluid and complex.

What if I’m not sure?

No need for “proof.” You can:

• Ask yourself questions
• Explore labels
• Change them or not
• Not know

Your sexuality belongs to you. It can evolve, become clearer, or be redefined. You don’t owe anyone explanations.

How to be a good ally?

• Don’t question others’ orientations
• Don’t assume someone’s attraction based on their current partner
• Avoid phrases like “it’s just a phase” or “you just want attention”
• Don’t hypersexualize or fetishize bi/pan people
• Don’t erase bi/pan people in “seemingly straight” couples
• Listen, learn, respect

To learn more:

• @assobigenre (Instagram) — French association for bi/pan/poly people
• @acearo.fr — Discover the asexual and aromantic spectrums

Books:

• Bi: Notes for a Bisexual Revolution by Shiri Eisner
• Invisible but Not Nonexistent by Hélène Bessette (on bi people)
• Loveless by Alice Oseman — a YA novel about fluid attraction

In summary:

Sexual orientations are multiple, nuanced, and alive.
Not fitting into a box doesn’t mean you’re “lost.”
Being bi, pan, poly, ace, or otherwise is just being human — feeling attraction in your own way.