You might already know about asexuality, but have you ever heard of aromanticism? It’s still a relatively unknown word, but it describes a real experience lived by many people — and it definitely deserves to be better understood. So here’s a simple, judgment-free explanation, with all the kindness in the world.

Spoiler alert: loving differently — or not falling in love at all — is just as normal as catching feelings every five minutes.

So, what does it mean to be aromantic?

An aromantic person (or aro, for short) is someone who experiences little or no romantic attraction toward others.

In other words: they don’t (or only very rarely) fall in love.
That doesn’t mean they don’t care about people or lack emotions.
It just means that romantic love — the kind we see in movies, songs, and rom-coms — isn’t something they feel or seek out.

And that’s completely okay.
We live in a society that glorifies romantic love as the ultimate goal, but life doesn’t revolve around it.

Let’s not confuse things…

Aromantic ≠ Asexual!

Aromanticism is about romantic attraction, while asexuality is about sexual attraction.
Someone can be aromantic and asexual, but they might also be aro and very sexual, or neither.

Example: An aromantic person might have partners, engage in sexual relationships, and form deep bonds — just without romantic feelings.

A quick glossary of aromantic and romantic diversity

• Aromantic (aro): someone who experiences little or no romantic attraction.
• Greyromantic: someone who rarely experiences romantic attraction, or only under very specific circumstances.
• Demiromantic: someone who only feels romantic attraction after forming a deep emotional bond.
• Cupioromantic: someone who doesn’t feel romantic attraction, but still desires a romantic relationship.
• Lithromantic (or akoiromantic): someone who might feel romantic attraction, but loses interest if the feeling is reciprocated.
• Aroallo: an aromantic person who is sexually attracted to others (i.e., allosexual).
• QPR (Queerplatonic Relationship): a deeply committed platonic relationship, often as meaningful — or more — than a romantic one. This kind of bond is especially important in aro/ace communities.

So… how do aromantic people experience relationships?

Just like everyone else — but differently.

Aromantic people might:

• Have deep friendships or partnerships
• Be in non-romantic relationships (like a QPR)
• Have children
• Live alone, with roommates, or with a chosen family
• Be totally happy without a “great love story”

Their lives are full of connection, affection, and meaning — just not necessarily romance.

Mini Q&A – Common Things People Say (and Why They’re Wrong)

“You just haven’t met the right person.”
Nope. Aromanticism isn’t a void to be filled. It’s a valid orientation — not a wound to heal.

“You must be traumatized or afraid of love.”
Not at all. Some aromantic people have had tough experiences — just like anyone else. But being aro isn’t inherently linked to trauma.

“That sounds like a sad life.”
What’s really sad is believing that romantic love is the only path to happiness. Aromantic people can live rich, joyful, fulfilling lives — just built on different foundations.

“Are you sure? Maybe you’re just too picky?”
Yes, people can be sure of their orientation. And no, this isn’t about “unrealistic standards.”

Why don’t we hear more about it?

Because aromanticism is still underrepresented in media, pop culture, and conversations about relationships.
We live in an amatonormative society — that’s a fancy word for a culture that treats romantic relationships as the norm or ideal.

That erases other kinds of connections: friendships, chosen family, queerplatonic bonds, communities…

How to be a good ally to aro people:

• Don’t reduce their lives to “a lack of love”
• Don’t try to “convert” them to romance
• Listen without judgment or pathologizing
• Validate all kinds of relationships
• Stop treating romantic love as the end-all, be-all
• Include them in conversations about sexuality, identity, and pride

In short:

Aromanticism isn’t a flaw — it’s a human reality.
Just another way of feeling, connecting, and existing.

And like all realities, it deserves to be heard, respected, and celebrated.

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Want to go deeper?

• AUREA (Aromantic Spectrum Union for Recognition, Education, and Advocacy) – a great English-language resource
• @acearo.fr on Instagram – super clear content (in French)
• Books:
  • Loveless by Alice Oseman (a novel with an aroace main character)
  • Friendship: A Love That Dare Not Speak Its Name by Marilyn Maeso (about the power of non-romantic relationships)